Parents and Drink More Water!
December 17, 2017
Author: Bianca Yang
Most parents try to do well by their kids. There are certainly abusive parents who don’t care for their kids or actively want to undermine their children, but let’s focus on the ones that do care for now. Because parents have such deep love for their children, they tend to turn into extremely selfish, child-focused machines. Every conversation must refocus on their children and how the situation can best put their kids at an advantage. The moment you have a child is the moment you enter into a brutal, blood-free battle to make sure your kid climbs to the top of the societal ladder, whether they want to or are capable of doing so.
The greatest teacher I had was one who recognized my limits and was proud of me for striving against those limits. He didn’t demand that I achieve at the same level as the top student in the class. He didn’t seem disappointed when I didn’t achieve some objective he set for that day. He didn’t make me feel left behind when my progress slowed. He also didn’t try to hold me back when I got ahead. He was happy that I had tried, and he praised me for performing as best I could that day. The way he treated me each day I showed up to class reminds me of John Wooden’s definition of success: “Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.” This is the most important quote for coaches, teachers, parents, everybody to internalize, because it is such a powerful way to guide those under your influence. Each person has limits. Each person wants to do well at the tasks they are presented with. If someone has given their all against a challenge, be proud for the good effort they showed. We all have different talents and abilities, so please recognize each person for what they can do.
Parents so often ignore this beautiful aphorism. They shout at coaches for not playing their kid in matches. They berate and humiliate their children for failing to make some ranking. They yell at their children for getting poor grades in hard classes. They demoralize their children for trying but failing to achieve at a certain level.
It’s natural to feel disappointed when we fail to achieve certain levels of excellence. But it’s only natural that we sometimes fail. Children should be encouraged to fail, because only by failing can we learn to be robust and correct our mistakes. Those who succeed are those who never stop getting up.
Parents are often far too focused on comparing their kids against others. It’s easy to want to do so, because they feel the world is only growing more competitive and they see only a few, narrow paths to success. But parents forget that the world is not stupid and that hard, honest work is still rewarded. To get into a top school and to win top awards, you have to demonstrate excellence. You can only demonstrate excellence by being excellent. You get to be excellent by putting in an honest effort, day in and day out. It’s foolish to think otherwise and try to game the system. You will be remembered as “that parent” and your children will be forever scarred by your bad behavior. As a parent, you are responsible for raising good people. If you are dissatisfied with the people you see around you, reflect on who you are and the example you’re giving your children. Raise them to be better people, because we need more of those in this world.
Note: Drink lots of water. You need water to keep your skin taut and smooth, and staying hydrated helps flush toxins out of your system. If remembering to drink water throughout the day is hard for you, try buying a larger water bottle and carrying it with you. Nalgene 1L or 2L bottles are handy, but maybe you prefer a hydration bladder. Regardless of how you drink, try to get 4L into your system each day. You will go to the bathroom more, but that take that as a healthy reminder to take breaks from the computer and sitting.
A bit of rhyming: 世上一切無謂 別給我抱怨 意義是人造 各有各的意願 逃不了的責任 顯出一點甘願 採取行動去解鎖扣住你的鐐銬 思想只能帶你到邊境 之後變得不可靠 造出生命意義是千里之行 靠著經驗踏出你的道路 日久生情 成就生勝
一步一步前進 從未見過頂峰 潛力是無底的泉源 上升是我們的命運 生命是無限的遊戲 唯一的目的 不能放棄 玩著玩著這就是我生命的意義