November 26, 2017
Author: Bianca Yang
I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. I spent mine in the mountains of Park City, enjoying the little bit of preseason slush that was covering the bottom of the slopes. While I was there, I found my anger rising to unbearable levels. I would snap at the most ridiculous things, making life for my family and myself absolutely miserable. I’m inclined to resolve the problem by escaping, but I know that my lack of emotional control is poisoning myself. Every time I have an angry outburst or speak curtly or feel annoyed, I am poisoning myself and creating illness within my body. This is not natural, not healthy, and not good.
Learning to control my emotions is part of my journey towards maturity. I want to stop being a child and take control of the wonderful life I have been given by God. I want to fulfill my purpose in life and be proud of who I have become. I do not want to be a slave to anyone or anything.
The pain of having lived as a fool for most of my life is unbearable. I want to be free and to be able to make the world a better place. It’s time for me to learn to separate myself from my emotions and to see things as they are. Emotions arise for many reasons, and those reasons are to be understood and accepted. To move forward, I must stop looking to the past to guide my actions. Looking through the windshield is the best way to get to my goal.
It is not natural to always be in a state of inner conflict. It is natural to be constantly medicating and treating symptoms of internal problems. It is not healthy to be fighting oneself. Internal harmony is the key to happiness and health. I cannot forget the importance of maintaining harmony and removing contradictions in my thinking.
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